The little love box

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I got this little love box a long time ago… I got it as a high school graduation present from some relative, and it never meant anything to me, in fact I didn’t even give it a use, it was just there… standing in my bathroom closet.

The funny thing is I didn’t even realize it said “Love,” I thought it was just a heart with some doodles on the sides… I never noticed… until the night I fell in love with him. It sounds crazy, but I remember that night so well… it was almost 2 years from now, but I remember it so well… It was a cold November night, Christmas lights and decorations everywhere… we went out with some friends, and somehow was the time I fell for him so hard I couldn’t even sleep that night, I watched the sunrise from my window, I was smiling, my heart was smiling, my mind was smiling, butterflies all around, I couldn’t even breathe I’ve never felt anything like it, I hope I will. It wasn’t even the night of our first kiss, but there was this connection, the way he looked at me, I knew I liked him, he had been my best friend for 2 years, and I knew there was something between us but I wasn’t sure about anything until that night, the way he looked at me, the way we laughed, he drove me home and he was so sure, so confident, he didn’t even care about everyone noticing there was something between us, I felt so safe, so wanted, it was amazing. He was so nervous on the way home, he was talking non stop, I knew he was anxious, I don’t know if he planned to kiss me that night, he didn’t, but he sure thought about it, he was sweating. He parked in front of my house, and we talked for a while like we were used to, we listened to some music, we played with each other’s hands, we laughed, and then we hugged and he kissed me on the chick. It was beautiful.

I realized I was in love with him that night. I walked into my room and noticed “the little love box,” it has been there all the time, but I read the word “Love” on it for the first time, that’s how I realized it was love what I was feeling.
I fell in love for him, I’m still in love with him, it’s hard because we are not together anymore… 9 months have passed since the day everthing came to an end. My heart breaks a little everytime I see “the little love box” standing in my closet, I’ve tried to hide it, to put it away, but somehow it always ends up facing towards me, reminding me of the night I fell in love for the first time.

The memories bring pain, tears and sorrow but at the same time a little hope… I loved, it was real, it wasn’t perfect but it is the most amazing feeling in the world, and I’m glad I’ve loved. This means I can love again, “the little love box” reminds me it is possible to fly, to watch the sunrise from your window while your entire body smiles, it is possible to love an imperfect human that fails and hurts.

“The little love box” reminds me I’ve loved and gives me hope… for I will love and be loved again.

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