Free to feel

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If my heart ever stops beating faster every time I look at you, if the butterflies that fly inside of me every time I think of you suddenly die, if I ever just stop thinking of you, if one day this love is gone, then and only then… it will stop.  Maybe the suffering will be gone in somebody else’s arms, or maybe it will only be time doing what it does best…. But I can’t stop feeling what I feel today, call me a hopeless romantic, stupid even, but I’ve decided I will accept what I feel.

I still miss you, I still smile at the thought of you, I still hope somehow we will end up together. And I’m exahusted of hating myself for feeling what I feel, I feel it, it’s still there, I know that it has been long enough, I know I need to let you go… but I need to accept, it will suddenly happen, out of nowhere, you’ll be gone, blurry, distant. But now you are here, on my mind, in my heart, I’m still in love with you, and I will allow myself to feel what I feel with no regrets.

I will dare to feel, I will feel you and I will let myself be free… if you can call this freedom… but I just haven’t learned how to be free from you yet.

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