You are far enough down the road, you still remember past moments and sometimes you wish everything could go back to the way it was. The smell of his skin, how safe you felt in his arms… but suddenly… the longing stops.
Time has passed and even though you feel like you are not over him, somehow you learn to accept changes, and there’s no way things are going back to the exact same way they were.
The only way things can go back to the way they were is with a time machine, time-traveling is the only solution, but talking to him, or having a reencounter, makes no sense; you are not the same. It’s not like you were frozen all this time, you are changed, you think different, he lost a part of your life and you can’t erase the fact that you kissed other lips, someone else hold you in his arms…
Just because you both seem the same, it doesn’t mean you are the same, we are in continuous change, evolving and letting go of old ways without even noticing.
It breaks your heart you will probably never hear his goofy laugh again, you will never look into his eyes and realize he is all you ever needed… but there was a force, an unusual strength that made you walk away, as much as you loved him, he hurt you enough to make you throw it all away, and now you can’t erase the time that has passed, the infinite silence, the countless tears that have streamed down your face, the times you encouraged yourself to move on, those moments remain like scars on your skin, forever.
If you ever cross paths again, still, it won’t be like turning back time, it will still be moving on, you will be finding each other on the other side of the road and probably see one another under a different light; you might kiss his lips again, but they will taste different, or you may introduce him as an “old friend” to the new love in your life.
You will be two strangers, meeting for the second time, learning how to unlearn what you thought you knew about each other, you may hold hands and continue a new path together, or you may just walk away being thankful that you were brave enough to continue moving on down the road, you didn’t go back, you gracefully accepted there’s no such thing as turning back time.