God wants me to be happy… as a Christian that is a basic thought, God is love and if I believe God is love that implies He wants nothing but my happiness.
I recently discovered that during some weird stage of my life, I stopped believing God wanted me to be happy, and by happy I mean in love. I started believing crazy lies like “God wants you to be alone” or “God doesn’t want you to be in love with someone else because he is a jealous God.” It just sounds stupid and makes no sense to me now, but without saying it out loud or even thinking about it I believed that.
Satan is the father of all lies, and the original sin is a consequence of Eve believing a lie of Satan; “God doesn’t want you to be wise like him, that’s why he won’t let you have the apple.” The Enemy makes us doubt about God’s love and His purpose for our lives, he wants us to believe God is not a fair God, a forgiving God, a loving God, and when we believe these lies we run away from Him and disobey just like Eve and Adan did on the Eden.
I just went through some sort of a break up with a very important person in my life and it hurt my heart deeply. The thing is, I knew from the beginning this person wasn’t God’s plan for my life… if I knew it then why did I just let myself go through that dark and hurting experience? Because I thought God didn’t want him for my life, but He didn’t have anyone better for me either. I believed he wanted me to be alone.
I was faithless, so I fell in love with a boy who separated me from God, and also made me doubt of my value and what I stood for.
I can’t blame everything on him, I knew he was hurt and away from God, and instead of helping him I fell in that deep hole with him and ended up hurt and empty. We both believed God didn’t want us to be happy, nor together, nor apart… because we didn’t feel worthy.
That sounds like a blasphemy and it’s denying God’s greatest characteristics His love and unchanging grace.
It has been hard for me to get over my “first love” but it has been harder because I have been trying to forget him in the wrong places, with the wrong people, and with the wrong attitude. I’ve been denying myself and losing my essence, believing more and more lies and feeling more and more empty.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good. He is all mercy and His love and grace know no end. Last weekend I had the chance to have a re-encounter with Him, I got the chance to find forgiveness in the cross one more time, I found healing in His truth and gave up all the lies. I realized He loves me… He really loves me and wants me to be happy and have a life rich in love and purpose in every area… not because I deserve it but because He loves me… as simple as that.
God wants me to fall in love, but not in the sickening, obsessive way the world offers us “love,” He wants me to fall in love in the best possible way, with a person who will pull out the best in me, a person who also believes God wants him to be happy… us to be happy and is part of God’s perfect plan for my happiness, not because I deserve it, but because He loves me.
Now I believe it, and I will wait for it, not sad about the waiting but confident that it will happen in the right time, now I believe that knowing this person and falling in love with him is part of God’s plan for my life so it will happen eventually.
God wants me to be happy 🙂