Attitude

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Today was not the best of my life, it wasn’t the worst either; but one thing is certain, I had a horrible attitude.

Since I woke up I started feeling so worried about everything that’s going on in my life, I cried my way to my job and found an email that made me feel even more mad and frustrated.

I had a bad day,  a lousy day, I don’t like my job anymore and the other job that I’m applying seems frozen, I was supposed to go running and even that plan ended up being canceled along with my beach plans for the weekend.

I did learn something today… I decided this morning I was going to have a bad day. I kept repeating those words “today is not my day” “I had a terrible day”. And indeed, today was not perfect, no amazing news, no progress, no surprises. But the fact that I felt so terrible in the inside made it a lot worst.

I did not speak faith today, I said words like “I want a normal life” “why is everything so hard” “I can’t take it anymore”.

I hate the way I reacted to life today, although I know is very human to have these kinds of meltdowns; I cursed, I rolled my eyes, I cried, I complained and I’m not proud of it.

I’m not faking my faith, I’m actually pretty tired of the same problems, I’m also worried about a lot of stuff, but I know a bad attitude is not fixing anything, a bad attitude doesn’t make miracles happen, or God smile.

I want to make God smile, at least a little bit, I know I will fail him in many ways and I know I can’t change a lot of stuff, but at least I want to make Him smile a little with a positive attitude.

God please forgive me for all the negative thoughts and all the ugly words I said today. I’m really sorry for being ungrateful and taking for granted all the blessings I have in my life.

Thank you for everything, the good and the bad, I know it’s all part of the plan and I trust your plan.

If you face each day with a terrible attitude, all of your days will be bad and you will end up having a terrible life. I don’t want that… tomorrow is going to be a great day because God is with me 🙂

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