It’s is so hard to think straight when you are madly in love. When you are so happy, when your mind, soul and spirit feel so full, you might not experience intense feelings, that mixture of anger and pain that comes within heartbreak. I seriously rather don’t write ever again than experience that one more time. But one thing is true, broken hearts and conflicted minds have a lot to say.
I’m in love, engaged and happy. And I haven’t written one word in the blog since I started dating him, I have written a couple of times, letters of love and gratitude to God and to him but they never made it here.
Today I was thinking about doing what you love the most, and doing that for a living. And I thought about how even when I’m a bachelor in marketing, bilingual, who has working experience inside and outside my country, I can’t find a job. Not every thing is glittery and pink about life right now, I am unemployed and I feel like even tho I like marketing and I can manage working 8-5 at an office, I do not love it. It does not empower me. I do not feel amazingly good at it. I strive so much trying to please my superiors, trying to be good at it that I end up exhausted and unsatisfied.
I love writing, today I remembered that, it almost feels like God reminded me, when I was asking myself “what can I do for a living that I’m passionate about and good at?” Don’t get me wrong, I have no degree in creative writing, English is not even my first language, but somehow when I write, everything makes sense, my thoughts dance along with the instrumental music I use as a background… it just flows so natural, I know it’s really hard to be a successful writer and I don’t want to start striving to sound smart on my writings. I just wish I could wake up every day knowing that I’m doing what I am created to do. That I enjoy what I do for a living, that people are inspired by my stories, by my daily discoveries, by what my mind has to say.
Today I found inspiration. Today I realized I may not be an amazing writer, but at least I know there is something I enjoy doing. The next step is believing in myself, but that’s another story…