Busy with our lives

7 years ago my dad’s older brother died. He was on a car accident. He wasn’t that close to me, he wasn’t even close to my dad or our family. We only saw each other during eventual family reunions or so. 
I didn’t even cry when I heard he died. Even though he and my dad lost contact over the years, my dad was one of the first persons who got called after the accident, he was the one who recognized him at the hospital were he was found before he died and he was the one who recognized the body at the morgue. 

I didn’t cry until we were at the funeral. I saw his two kids there, a 9 year-old boy and a 6 year-old little girl. He was holding his daddy’s picture with tears in his eyes, it broke my heart.

They needed us. And I feel like they needed me. But sadly everything continued the same. We hardly saw each other after the accident. My dad is one of the most amazing people I know, he is a very good man, at least in my eyes, but he wasn’t there for them either. 

They are doing great, they are living with their mom in the US. They got a residence two 4 years after he passed. I follow them on Instagram and they look so happy, the little girl is now 17 and has a boyfriend and a lot of friends, so as my cousin. I remember they were so shy, their mom was very over protective and strict and that was one reason why I thought we kept our distance but now they look like so happy, I guess what happened may have changed her. 

Today I saw a picture of her with her bf and I felt so happy for her but I also felt a sense of guilt because I know I could’ve done something  for her. I could’ve created a bound, I could’ve been present after their dad’s death. But I wasn’t. 

I’m not a bad person, I was just busy with my life. Serving in church,  going to college, hanging out with my friends, enjoying my own family. 

We may think we are good people, but are  we really ? This is not a guilt rant, but maybe a wake-up call for me and hopefully for someone else. 

I remember I had the intention of getting closer with them, I even recall talking to my dad about it but I didn’t act on it. Sometimes we are full of good intentions and ideas but we are so busy with our lives that we eventually let it go, but one day it comes back to you, it hunts you, what you should have done but ignored. 

My advice… Do It. Don’t over think about it, if you feel like helping someone, do it. Don’t wait until you are not busy. Make time and do it. 

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